


We've Got Time: Part III

by FriedaBerlinFan



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-01-11 18:52:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18430022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FriedaBerlinFan/pseuds/FriedaBerlinFan
Summary: It’s been five months after the terrible events of  We’ve Got Time Part II and Frieda is having trouble adjusting to life without Zoe. Will Frieda ever learn to forgive herself? After Zoe is released from prison, things take a turn for the worse when Frieda is confronted with someone she never thought she'd see again. Please note that this story will contain heavy ff sex scenes. Rated M to be safe. This story will contain spoilers from season 7. Please read and review. Thanks!





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

 

**ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK**

**WE'VE GOT TIME: PART III**

**SUMMARY** : It's almost been five months after the events of We've Got Time Part I and Frieda is having trouble adjusting to life without Zoe. Meanwhile, Zoe is about to be released from prison, can Frieda win her back before she leaves or is it too little, too late?

 **Author's Note** : Takes place sometime during season 6 and beyond. It's recommended you read Part I and II.

 **Disclaimer** : The OITB characters belong to the creator Jenji Kohan, etc. They don't belong to me. With the exception of original characters such as Zoe McKenzie.

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

**SEVERAL MONTHS LATER**

Frieda Berlin glanced down at the woman who was lying beneath her. Zoe McKenzie-the most wonderful woman she'd ever known-had actually taken her back. The past five months had been terrible-full of physical and emotional pain. But those days were over and now she can concentrate on getting her marriage back on track. Zoe smiled up at her, her brown eyes full of love.

It's been five months since they had last made love and Frieda found herself hesitating as she slid a hand between Zoe's thighs. Frieda captured Zoe McKenzie's lips with her own as Zoe sensually  stroked Frieda's breasts. Zoe held Frieda closer to her but Frieda took her hand away.

" I'm sorry," Frieda whispered, " I just can't do it. I don't want to hurt you."

" You won't hurt me," Zoe whispered back, " I'm ready this time, can't you feel that I'm ready?" she took Frieda's hand and guided it back between her legs,

" See? I'm definitely ready for you this time." She tried to kiss Frieda, but Frieda pulled away, an anguished expression on her face.

" You might be ready…but I'm not. I'm sorry." Frieda said again, " I thought I was ready but-"

" You don't have to explain," Zoe assured her as she pulled her in for a tight hug " It might take a while for things to get back to normal for us." Her relationship with Frieda had always been very sexual-it was just the way things were between them, but ever since that terrible day, things were different now.

 _Will things ever be the same between us again?_  Zoe thought to herself as Frieda buried her face in Zoe’s neck as she sobbed. I’ve forgiven Frieda for raping me but will she ever learn to forgive herself? 

* * *

 

**FIVE MONTHS AGO**

Suzanne Warren sat near Frieda Berlin's cell and finished her vanilla pudding. She grabbed her orange and was about to start on that when her friend Tiffany Doggett walked over.

" Hey Suzanne, you're going to join us for outside time?" Doggett asked her cheerfully.

Suzanne paused and continued peeling her orange, " I don't think so. Not today." She said glumly and ate a slice.

Doggett frowned in concern and sat down across from Suzanne. " Suzanne, you've skipped it every day now. You used to love it. You always used to complain it was never long enough."

Doggett had been worried about Suzanne for a while. Since the marriage breakdown of Frieda Berlin and her wife Zoe McKenzie. Frieda hadn't been the same since her marriage was torn apart. She was now cold and hard, certainly not the same Frieda Berlin Doggett once knew and admired. The old Frieda had been tough, no-nonsense, practical and kind.

Frieda and Zoe met in prison ten years ago and fallen in love and had been together for nearly ten years. Doggett had never seen two women so deeply in love before and it was clear that they had adored each other.

Then Zoe found out Frieda had slept with another woman in the prison while she had been in solitary and after a terrible fight, Zoe ended their marriage, moved in with Doggett and hadn't spoken to Frieda since.

Doggett didn't know the whole story but according to Suzanne, something really bad happened between them but Zoe refused to talk about it.

Frieda had been taking her permanent bad mood out on her cellmate Suzanne and it was taking its toll on her. Suzanne seemed to be keeping to herself more and spending more and more time inside.

" Suzanne, it's been three weeks and-

" Exactly. It's been three weeks and she's not back from psych yet," Suzanne interrupted, " It's been way too long. She's not coming back!"

" How do you know?" Doggett demanded.

" Because this isn't the first time Frieda Berlin tried to kill herself," Suzanne reminded her.

**Three Weeks Ago**

After telling Doggett that things wouldn't be the same again, she walked sadly back to her cell, wondering if Frieda was back yet. She looked inside and her heart nearly stopped. She couldn't believe what she saw. It was even worse than last time.

The guards came running when Suzanne started screaming. Doggett ran over to Frieda's cell and gasped. She'd never seen anything like it.

" Suzanne, what happened?" Doggett exclaimed.

" Frieda tried to kill herself again," Suzanne whispered, " Oh God, look at the blood. There's so much blood…"

One of the guards knelt down next to the still body of Frieda and checked her pulse and requested for medical.

" Someone has to tell Zoe," Doggett said as they watched Frieda being loaded onto a stretcher and was taken away.

" I don't think she'll care," Suzanne snapped and backed away from her cell, " There is no way I'm staying here tonight."

" Don't worry, someone will come and clean up all the blood," Doggett assured her. Suzanne just shook her head and ran off.

Doggett sighed and saw Zoe returning from outside time. She glanced over at Frieda's cell and the guards walking out of it. " What's going on?" she asked.

" Frieda tried to kill herself," Doggett informed her.

" Oh, is that all?" Zoe snorted dismissively and headed for their cell.

Doggett grabbed her arm, " Is that all you can say? Your wife tried to kill herself and all you can is say is 'oh'? What kind of person are you?"

" Back off Doggett," Zoe snarled but Doggett pulled her towards Frieda's cell.

" Whatever happened between the two of you must have been really bad. Look." She shoved Zoe inside and Zoe froze. Blood was everywhere. On the floor, on the walls and even on the bed.

" Look, I really don't care what Frieda does okay? Whatever is going on with her, it's her problem." Zoe said finally before leaving the cell.

Tiffany Doggett bit her lip. Suzanne was right. Things around here will never be the same again. Things will only get worse, before they got better.


	2. Chapter 2

**THREE WEEKS AGO**

Zoe laid down on her bed and sighed, thinking what she just said to Doggett. She had regretted saying them as soon as they came out of her mouth.

The truth was she missed Frieda. It had been unbearable without her but she was still angry and hurt at what Frieda had done. She missed being with Frieda and the way Frieda made her feel. Now Frieda went and tried to kill herself-again-and who knew how long they’d keep her in psych this time around.

Zoe rolled over to face the wall. It was now bare. She did have a photograph of a young Frieda Berlin she had found in the library but after their marriage breakdown, she had ripped the photo of the wall and threw it in the trash. Doing that had seemed so…final. It made her realise that it was all over. Having no Frieda in her life was like losing a part of herself that she knew she’d never get back again.

Tears ran down her face as she once again asked herself the same question she’d been asking over and over. _Why did she do it?_

**_Several Days Ago_ **

 “ Hi,” Zoe greeted her wife when she found Frieda in their hideaway. After pill line she had found a note from Frieda, asking her to meet up in their hideaway.

Frieda smiled and drew her in for a hug. “ How was pill line?” she asked.

“ Pill line is pill line,” Zoe replied after a moment’s pause. Zoe started to relax and gave in to Frieda’s fiery, passionate kisses. Frieda slid a hand inside Zoe’s pants as the kisses grew more urgent. Zoe moaned as Frieda’s other hand found its way inside her shirt to fondle her breasts. Zoe leaned against the bookshelf as Frieda pulled her pants down, got down on her knees and licked her clit.

After a while, Zoe felt herself coming twice, before she straddled Frieda on their air mattress and made love to her. Their moans got louder and Zoe was brought back to reality after they both came.

They curled up in each other’s arms as Frieda played with Zoe’s long hair. “ We have to get going soon. It’ll be lunch time-and I’m starving,” Zoe said as Frieda began trailing kisses down her neck, then her arm.

“ I suppose we should,” Frieda agreed. She kissed Zoe, long and hard before they went back to their cell.

 _Suzanne must be wrong,_ Zoe thought. She had seen the look of love Frieda had given her during their love making. There is no way Frieda would cheat on me.

After lunch, they went back to their cell. Frieda took a deep breath then said, “ Zoe, I need to tell you something.”

“ Can’t it wait? Rec time will be in ten minutes,” Zoe said, “ I need to see Daya,”

“ No it can’t. I’ve been putting this off for far too long,” Frieda sat down on her bed and patted the space next to her.

Zoe sat down next to her and waited. “ Do you remember what Julie Newman said a few weeks ago? About what supposedly happened between her and me?” Frieda asked.

“ Yes, I remember…”

Frieda licked her lips, they had suddenly gone dry and her palms were sweaty. She wiped them nervously on her pants as Zoe waited expectantly.

“ What Julie said…it’s all true. Every bit of it.” Frieda blurted out. Zoe’s eyes went wide with shock and disbelief as she tried to digest Frieda’s words. Her whole body turned cold and the walls of the cell started closing in on her. Frieda tried to take her hand, but Zoe jumped up as if she just been burned.

“ You mean…you slept with her?” Zoe whispered, her face going white.

“ Yes,” Frieda replied, “ But only because I thought she was you and I was on heavy medication at the time-“ she was babbling but she couldn’t help it. She tried to tell her what happened but Zoe wasn’t listening.

 “ Suzanne told me about the kiss she witnessed while we were on the pill line,” she told Frieda, “ And I was prepared to forgive you. After all, Julie had an unhealthy obsession with you…but you actually _slept_ with her. You did everything Julie described ” Zoe stood still for a moment and clutched her stomach, “ Oh God, I literally feel sick.” And the very thought of making love to Frieda just half an hour ago made her want to be sick.

“ Zoe, please. We can work this out-“ Frieda pleaded, standing up, “ You don’t know the whole story-“

“ You slept with her while I was down in the SHU. What else is there to know?” Zoe interrupted furiously, “ I thought you loved me. Didn’t nine and a half years together mean _anything_ to you? And after everything we went through together, you’re prepared to throw it all away.”  She walked closer to Frieda and hit her across the face, “ I never want to speak to you again. By the time I get back, I want you gone from this cell.” Zoe growled. Frieda stared at Zoe in shock, as her cheek ached from the slap. She had never seen Zoe look at her that way before-full of rage and hatred. Then Zoe stormed out.

* * *

It was all over. Nearly ten years together and two months of marriage gone. Frieda sat down on her bed and sighed. She had truly fucked everything up.

 _But she doesn’t know the whole story_ , Frieda told herself. She didn’t care that Zoe had ordered her out of their cell, she was going to stay put until Zoe had heard the whole story. Then maybe Zoe might forgive her.

Half an hour later, Zoe froze in the doorway of her cell when she saw that Frieda had not moved.

“ I told you to move out,” Zoe said folding her arms across her chest and glaring at her, “ What are you still doing here?”

“ I ain’t moving until you hear me out,” Frieda replied stubbornly, “ You never did give me a chance to explain myself.”

“ Fine. Explain.” Zoe said and Frieda told her everything.

“ I can’t believe you used your medication to justify what you did,” Zoe said once she finished, “ You still slept with another woman Frieda. Get your stuff and get out.”

Frieda stood up, “ It’s really over?” she asked softly. She tried to take Zoe’s hand but Zoe shook her off.

“ Yes, it’s really over. I’ve talked to Warren and we’ve already made the roommate requests. You’re sharing with her again.”

“ No,” Frieda shook her head, “ I don’t accept that it’s over. I still love you and I’m going to show you,” she grabbed Zoe and forced Zoe to lie down onto Frieda’s bed and she laid ontop of Zoe. Zoe tried to push Frieda off but Frieda grabbed her arms.

“ Frieda, what are you doing?” Zoe whispered as Frieda pulled her pants down and slid a finger inside her. Zoe gasped with pain. She was dry as a bone down there and what Frieda was doing actually hurt. A lot.

“ Showing you that I love you. It’s not the end of us,” Frieda replied as her finger began to move in and out of her. Her other hand held Zoe’s hands above her head so that Zoe could not struggle. Her hands gripped Zoe’s wrists so tightly, they were starting to hurt.

“ Please don’t do this.” Zoe whispered as tears ran down her face but Frieda was too lost in her own world to notice. Frieda grabbed one of Zoe’s hands and guided it between her thighs as Zoe was made to stroke Frieda. Frieda groaned and closed her eyes as her finger went deeper inside Zoe. Zoe cried out in pain and that’s what bought Frieda back to reality. She stared down at Zoe in shock.

“ Zoe…I…”

“ Get off of me,” Zoe replied coldly and Frieda did so. Zoe pulled up her pants as Frieda realised what she had done. She had raped her own wife.

“ I’m so sorry Zoe,” Frieda broke down and wept as Zoe stared down at Frieda disgustedly.

 “ Don’t ever come near me again,” she said to Frieda before leaving the cell.

At that moment, Suzanne appeared with her belongings, “ Uh…I hope this isn’t a bad time?”

Frieda didn’t say a word. She stood up and fled. 

* * *

Zoe opened her eyes and shuddered. She remembered how awful she had felt after Frieda had raped her. It had been so painful and she remained sore for hours afterwards. And she still had the bruises on her wrists but thankfully her long-sleeved shirt hid them.  And she’d never forget that look in Frieda’s eyes while Frieda was raping her…it was like looking into the eyes of a stranger.

Zoe sobbed, her heart breaking all over again.

* * *

Frieda glanced down at her bandaged wrists which were throbbing. The painkillers had worn off and she wasn’t due for more until another hour. She had done some real damage to her wrists this time around and had almost been successful. While she unconscious, she had required a blood transfusion because she had lost so much blood. She remembered waking up in medical, hooked up to machines and a doctor informing her that because this wasn’t her first time, she would be placed on suicidal watch and transferred to the psych unit. 

It was the same as last time except she hadn’t needed a blood transfusion. She still felt a little weak but she welcomed it all-she deserved what she got and more. Not only she had cheated on her wife with another woman, she had raped Zoe. Frieda never thought she could do something like that to someone she loved.

 _I’m an evil person,_ Frieda thought, _I raped my own wife. Why am I still alive?_ She remembered thinking the very same things while she was slicing open her wrists..

 _She had repeatedly begged me to stop_ , Frieda thought to herself, _but why didn’t I stop?_


	3. Chapter 3

Zoe rubbed her eyes and sat up. She had cried herself to sleep and now it was dinnertime. She couldn't skip it, she'd get a shot, but at least she didn't have to see Frieda in the common area.

Tiffany Doggett walked into their cell and glanced over at Zoe but didn't say anything. She was still a little angry at Zoe's unsympathetic attitude towards Frieda. She ran a hand through her short, choppy hair when she noticed something on Zoe's right wrist. She reached out and grabbed her arm.

" What's this?" she demanded, pointing at the bruise. It was quite large and was turning yellow.

" Oh, it's nothing. I was clumsy, I banged it while I was getting out of bed one night to use our toilet." Zoe replied as Doggett yanked up the other sleeve and noticed the second bruise on Zoe's left wrist.

" You banged both wrists?" Doggett asked dubiously. Her eyes narrowed, " They look like the bruises I got when I was raped," Doggett said and Zoe winced. Doggett had once told her the story of being raped by a guard back at Litchfield Minimum. If anyone would understand what Zoe was going through, Doggett would. But she couldn't talk to anyone about it-not while everything was still very raw.

" Zoe, what really happened between you and Frieda?" Doggett asked, " You can tell me."

Zoe didn't answer as she stared down at the floor. She wished Sophia Burset was still here. Sophia was her closet friend after Frieda, her best friend and she could talk to her about anything. But Sophia had been released a few months ago and was probably too busy getting reacquainted with her wife and son. No, she couldn't bother Sophia even though Sophia had assured Zoe she could call her anytime she wanted.

" I can't talk about it," Zoe whispered.

" Okay," Doggett didn't want to push but she was worried about those bruises. They really did look exactly like the ones she had gotten during her rape. There was no way something like that happened with Frieda. Frieda wouldn't hurt Zoe that way. Would she? Frieda had worshipped Zoe. " It's dinnertime. We better get going."

" I'm not hungry, I think I'll fake a headache," Zoe replied, sitting back down on her bed.

" But you'll get a shot," Doggett reminded her.

" I don't care," Zoe replied, " I really don't care what happens to me now."

Doggett sighed and left the cell. Once Zoe made her mind up about something, it was impossible to change it.

* * *

After dinner Doggett found Zoe in their cell. Zoe sat up, her eyes were puffy and red-rimmed, " I'm sorry for worrying you," she said to Doggett, " But what happened between Frieda and me…I'm still trying to come to terms with it all."

Doggett sat at the end of Zoe's bed, " Zoe, did Frieda give you those bruises?" Doggett asked gently.

Zoe nodded, " Yes, " she whispered and Doggett's face went white.

" Did she…rape you?" Doggett asked in a hushed voice as all sympathy she had for Frieda vanished. Now she felt guilty for being a little mad at Zoe for her lack of sympathy towards suicidal Frieda, when all this time Zoe had been the victim, not Frieda.

Zoe nodded again, " Yes, " she replied, " Frieda raped me." Then she buried her face in her hands and wept.

Doggett was speechless. She'd never thought Frieda could be capable of doing such a thing to her own wife. Frieda and Zoe had been like the golden couple of Florida, everyone could see how much they had loved each other. Their marriage hadn't been perfect and they had their share of fights. But in the end they had always made up afterwards were more in love than ever.

But now…Doggett shook her head, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that Frieda Berlin wasn't the person Tiffany Doggett thought she was.

Zoe cried and Doggett decided the best thing she could do was just be there for Zoe.

* * *

 

The following morning, Doggett opened her eyes blearily. It had been a hard night-especially for Zoe. Zoe had cried for most of the night and didn't sleep much. She said whenever she closed her eyes all she could see were images of Frieda.

Zoe was still in bed, she had her blanket pulled up to her chin and was shivering. She looked as exhausted as Doggett felt. " Are you okay?" Doggett asked her.

Zoe gave her a weak smile, " No, I don't feel good. I think I'll sleep some more."

Doggett nodded and disappeared for breakfast. A few hours later, she returned to find Zoe waking up and climbing out of bed, looking shaky.

" You don't look good," Doggett remarked as Zoe shuffled towards their little table. Zoe peered at her reflection in the mirror and cringed. Doggett was right, she didn't look good at all.

" I guess it's from lack of sleep," she said but she knew it was something more. It hurt whenever she took a breath. She was sick.

The cell spun dizzily around her and she grabbed hold of the bunk bed. Doggett helped her to the bed, " I better get some help, you can barely stand." Doggett said and disappeared.

Half an hour later, Doggett found herself alone and without a cellmate. She saw CO Copeland returning from medical. " How is she?" Doggett asked.

" She's got pneumonia, " Copeland replied, " A pretty bad case of it too. She'll be in medical for a few days while she recovers."

" I don't suppose I can visit?" Doggett asked and Copeland shook her head.

" You know the rules. No visitors." Copeland reminded her.

* * *

Frieda opened her eyes when she saw CO Copeland walk into the psych unit. " How are you today Berlin?" Copeland asked her.

" Just peachy," Frieda grunted. " How long are you going to keep me in here?"

" It's not up to me. The doctor just told me that you'll be assessed to see if you're fit to be released back into gen pop in a few days." Copeland replied.

" It's been three weeks," Frieda complained.

" Yes, well this isn't your first time you tried to kill yourself," Copeland reminded her sternly, " We are worried for your mental health." She paused, " I shouldn't be telling you this, but we have a new patient in medical."

" Oh, " Frieda said, not really caring. The stitches were itchy and she was dying to scratch at them.

" It's Zoe," Copeland added and Frieda's heart nearly stopped.

" Zoe?" Frieda whispered, " Why is she in medical?" the medical unit was just next door. Zoe was _right next door_ and Frieda was desperate to see her.

" She got a bad case of pneumonia and will be in medical for a few days," Copeland told her.

" Do you think you can give her a message from me?" Frieda asked hopefully noticing the small notepad and pen in Copeland's shirt pocket.

Copeland took out her notepad and pen and gave them to Frieda. Frieda knew Copeland had a big soft spot for Zoe and decided to take advantage of it.

Frieda wrote just three words on a piece of paper, folded it up and gave it to Copeland.

A few minutes later, Zoe was unfolding the note Copeland had just given her and on it was three words in a familiar scrawl-I LOVE YOU.

" It's from Berlin," Copeland said unnecessarily and Zoe nodded She folded it up and slipped it into her shirt pocket.

" I'm going back to sleep." Zoe murmured before she rolled over, facing away from Copeland.

Ten minutes later, Copeland was back next door. " Well? What was her reaction?" Frieda demanded, then her face fell, " She tore it up didn't she?"

" Actually no. She put it in her shirt pocket." Copeland said and Frieda's eyes glistened with tears. Zoe didn't tear up her message.

Now Frieda was even more desperate to see Zoe and a plan formulated in her mind.

An hour later, Zoe woke up and found herself staring at a new patient in the next bed, not quite believing at what she was seeing.

Her new neighbour was Frieda.


	4. Chapter 4

 “ What are you doing here?” Zoe asked harshly, after finally finding her voice.

Frieda studied her wife. Zoe looked awful, there were dark circles under her eyes, her usually tidy long hair was limp and unwashed and she looked a bit thin. And that’s when Frieda noticed the bruises on both of Zoe’s wrists and she paled.

“ Did I give you those bruises?” she asked with an anguished expression on her face.

Zoe looked down at her wrists and hid her hands under the covers. “ What do you think?” she snapped. Then she glanced at Frieda’s own wrists which were bandaged to her elbows. She could see blood seeping through them. “ You never answered my question-what are you doing here?”

“ I needed new stitches,” Frieda replied and at that moment, the doctor entered the room with a trolley. He gave Zoe her medication and checked her blood pressure. Frieda got a another view of the bruises on Zoe’s wrists. She looked away and closed her eyes she flash backed to an image of  herself, lying on top of Zoe and holding Zoe’s arms above her head so that she couldn’t move. When she opened her eyes, the memory faded and she heard Zoe’s pleading voice echoing in her brain. “ _Please, Frieda, no…”_

The doctor finished with Zoe and moved on to Frieda, unwrapping her bandages carefully. He shook his head, “ You really did a number on your stitches didn’t you?” he said, “ Now, I don’t need to remind you that restitching may sting.”

“ What did he mean?” Zoe demanded from the next bed.

“ Nothing, it doesn’t matter.” Frieda said and Zoe could clearly see the pained looked in Frieda’s eyes. A whirl of emotions threatened to overwhelm Zoe and she couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit sympathetic towards Frieda. Not only that, she was also angry at Frieda for hurting herself this way.

“ Did you rip open your stitches so that you can get back into medical?” Zoe asked, “ Did you know I was in here?”

“ Yes,” Frieda whispered, “ I did know. When I heard that you came down with pneumonia, I just had to see you.”

“ Hurting yourself just to see me, isn’t worth it,” Zoe snapped at her. Frieda stared back at her and for just a moment, she thought she saw a hint of sympathy in Zoe’s brown eyes.

 _I imagined it_ , Frieda told herself wincing as she felt the sting of her wrists being stitched up again, _She still hates me. That much is clear_.

Later that evening, both Frieda and Zoe were given sleeping pills to help them sleep and Frieda felt herself drifting off. Before she did, she heard footsteps stop next to her bed and saw a shadow leaning over her.   

Before Frieda could ask who was there, the shadow leaned over and Frieda felt someone kiss her gently on her lips. Frieda responded and the kiss deepened. The she felt the person pull away and was was gone.

Frieda blinked and looked over at the next bed. Zoe was fast asleep, it couldn't have been her. Could it? She could still feel the warmth from the kiss and she knew she didn't imagine that.

Zoe kissed me, Frieda thought dreamily and it had given her hope. Hope that maybe her marriage could be saved. She decided that she had to start thinking of a way to get back to Florida and to win Zoe back. Life was simply not worth living without Zoe in it.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

“ I don’t need a wheelchair,” Frieda told the guard the next morning, “ It’s only next door. I can walk.”

“ Frieda?” Zoe called from her bed and Frieda looked over at her.

“ Don’t hurt yourself again,” Zoe said and just for an instant Frieda thought she saw the old Zoe back-the kind-hearted, caring woman Frieda had fallen in love with.

Frieda was taken back to the psych unit. Now that she was stitched back up again there was no need to keep her in medical. She had only been there overnight but at least she got to see Zoe. And Zoe had kissed her. Hadn’t she? Why would Zoe kiss her when she hated her? Frieda never felt so confused before.

Frieda lay in her bed in the psych unit and thought about the kiss last night. She missed Zoe. She missed being with her, holding her, kissing her and making love to her. Their relationship had always been sexual, from the moment they met but they didn’t actually make love until several months later because Zoe simply hadn’t been ready. Which was surprising because unlike Frieda, Zoe was actually the gay one out of the two but she had never been with a woman that way before. Frieda had been the one who was ready to make love but she never pressured Zoe.

She still remembered their first time, in her bunker, nine and a half years ago. It had been awkward at the start, but in the end making love to Zoe had been tender and loving and they had both cried afterwards.

* * *

**Nine and a half years ago**

During rec time, Zoe met Frieda at their cube and Frieda lead her down the hallway.

“ Where are we going?” Zoe whispered. She felt like she had to whisper because Frieda looked so solemn as she lead Zoe to her secret hiding place.

“ No one uses this storage closet anymore,” Frieda explained to Zoe as they both entered an empty storage room.  Tall lockers lined the back wall.

Frieda opened one of the doors to the locker and pushed aside some clothes and opened another door leading to the basement.

“ Come on,” Frieda said and Zoe hesitated.

“ It’s safe-there’s no need to be scared.” Frieda assured her and disappeared into the locker. Zoe followed her and walked down a short flight of stairs and found herself in a small room that was lit up with red light.

Zoe looked around in astonishment. There were metal shelves filled with food, medical supplies and other bits and pieces. There was an armchair and even a cot made up with sheets and pillows nearby.  This room seemed to have everything.

“ This place is amazing…it’s is a bunker,” she said as Frieda shut the door to the small room. “ Are you a survivalist?”

Frieda nodded, “ I built this over the years I’ve been here. And I was in the girl scouts too when I was a kid.”

Zoe ran a hand along one shelf fill of food-of mostly canned goods. “ And no one’s found it?”

“ No one. I’ve been very careful.”

“ You haven’t? Why?”

Frieda shrugged, “ I’ve never really met anyone I’ve trusted enough to share this place with.”

“ Not even the Golden Girls?”

“ Not even them. Even though they’ve kept our relationship a secret so far-it’ll come out eventually. I just couldn’t risk telling anyone about this place.”

“ Why tell me? We haven’t known each other that long,” Zoe reminded Frieda.

“ Because you’re also the first person I’ve loved,” Frieda replied simply. “ I know you’ll keep this is a secret.”

Zoe didn’t say anything and one look at Zoe’s dark brown eyes and beautiful face told Frieda Zoe would always keep her secret.  Frieda opened her arms and Zoe flew into them. Frieda bought her mouth down onto hers for a long and searching kiss.

“ Make love to me,” Zoe whispered as Frieda rained kisses along her throat.

“ Are you sure?” Frieda asked and Zoe pressed her mouth against Frieda’s in reply. Frieda pulled Zoe’s shirt off and flung it aside as they stumbled towards the small cot without breaking the kiss. Frieda managed to take off Zoe’s bra as they fell back onto the cot with Frieda’s body covering Zoe’s.

“ Are you sure?” Frieda asked her and Zoe nodded. Frieda’s mouth met Zoe’s for a long and passionate kiss and her hand stroked Zoe’s breasts. Then it disappeared between her thighs and started to stroke her gently. It wasn’t long before Zoe was aroused and Frieda took a nipple into her mouth, making Zoe moan. Zoe put her legs around Frieda’s waist and Frieda’s stroking became faster. Zoe moaned as she came, wishing she had held out longer.

After a while, Frieda found herself lying beneath Zoe as Zoe kissed Frieda’s breasts. Frieda moaned, “ Jesus H Christ,” she gasped as she felt Zoe’s tongue stroke her nipples. Zoe’s hand slid between Frieda’s legs and slid a finger inside Frieda. Frieda was very wet and it slid in easily. Zoe’s tongue kept licking her nipples as her finger moved in and out, slowly at first then became faster.

“ Fuck,” Frieda moaned, as her back arched. Never before had she experienced anything like this. For someone who had insisted she’d never been with a woman before, Zoe certainly knew what she was doing. Zoe glanced up at Frieda who’s blue eyes were glassy and her face was flushed. Her nipples had hardened. She took her finger out and her head disappeared between Frieda’s thighs. Frieda felt Zoe kiss her thighs before her tongue started to work on her clit.

“ Oh, Jesus,” Frieda cried out as her whole body trembled. Zoe’s tongue stroked her faster and five minutes later, Frieda felt herself coming again and again. Even after she came, Zoe continued to stroke her with her tongue and Frieda caught a glimpse of Zoe stroking herself. The bunker was filled with their cries of passion and half an hour later, they held each other. Frieda never felt so close to anyone as she did with Zoe and that’s when she noticed tears were running down Zoe’s face.

“ What’s the matter?” Frieda asked alarmed, “ I didn’t hurt you…did I?”

“ Of course not. It’s just that…well I don’t know why I’m crying. That was just-“

“ Awful?” Frieda supplied as she stroked Zoe’s hair.

“ Amazing. You were amazing Frieda,” Zoe said and Frieda’s own eyes had filed with tears.

“ So were you,” Frieda told her as they held each other.

~~~

Frieda sighed, being that close to Zoe won’t ever happen again. Unless she got out psych and back to Florida. She was more determined to win back Zoe. And nothing and nobody was going to stop her.


	6. Chapter 6

Red sat in her cell in solitary, thinking about Zoe. Zoe consumed most of her thoughts these days, and when she wasn’t thinking about Zoe, she was thinking about Frieda. She had been thinking of ways to take Zoe away from Frieda, but it turned out she didn’t need to. Nicky had told her what happened between Frieda and Zoe. Red was still in shock when she found out what Frieda had done to Zoe.

 _I’d never do that to her_ , Red thought, _how can you cheat on someone you love?_ And that’s what Frieda had done. She had cheated on her wife while Zoe had been in solitary. Apparently Frieda had been so wrecked with guilt and self-loathing, she had tried to kill herself again. Frieda was still in psych and Red wondered if Frieda would ever be released into gen pop again.

Red thought about the last few months. She had been rotting away in the SHU for a couple of months now. Loneliness had set in ages ago and she often hallucinated. She had plotted revenge against Frieda who had betrayed her by selling her out to the feds and Nicky often came by with news of Frieda and the woman Red loved, Zoe. Two years ago she and Zoe had been in a relationship but it wasn’t until a few months ago Zoe decided she still loved her ex-girlfriend and went back to Frieda. During the riot, Red learned that Zoe and Frieda had slept together while Zoe was still with Red and that Zoe never really loved Red. She cared about Red, but didn’t love her as much as she loved Frieda.

Things with Frieda and Zoe hadn’t always been perfect. There always seemed to be trouble in paradise. They had gotten married but even afterwards, things were rocky between them. They even separated for a while but always found their way back to each other. Red had decided to try and find a way to get into Florida and take Zoe away from Frieda once and for all when Nicky told her the news.

_Three Weeks Ago_

_“ Red? Are you alive in there?” Nicky interrupted Red’s daydreaming._

_“ Yes, I am,” Red replied grouchily. She had been daydreaming about her and Zoe._

_“ I’ve got some news for you,” Red could hear Nicky sweeping the hallway of the SHU._

_“ What is it?” Red asked and Nicky told her._

_“ Frieda cheated on Zoe?” Red asked, shocked._

_“ Yeah. They had a really bad fight and now they’ve broken up. For good. Frieda tried to kill herself again and it you should have seen the mess she made. I’ve never seen so much blood.”_

_“ She lived?”_

_“ She lived, but she’s not in a good way. She’s a mess and Zoe is even worse. I don’t know what happened to make Frieda cheat on Zoe but-“_

_“ Why would Frieda do such a thing? She adored Zoe. Anyone could see that. She’d never hurt her,”_

_“ But she did Red.”_

Red sighed as the memory faded. Frieda had truly fucked everything up. She very much doubted Zoe will take Frieda back now.

* * *

**_Several Weeks Later_ **

 Doggett was playing checkers with Suzanne one morning, when Suzanne nudged her. “ Look who’s back,” she said, nodding towards the entrance of the common area.

Doggett looked up to see Frieda limping towards the cell she used to share with Zoe. Her arms were still heavily bandaged “ I’ll be right back,” Doggett told Suzanne before hurrying over to Frieda.

“ What do you think you’re doing?” Doggett greeted Frieda coldy.

“ And hello to you too,” Frieda replied, “ I just wanted to see Zoe-“

“ Zoe isn’t here right now. And I don’t think she’ll want to see you anyway. Not after what you did.” Doggett snapped.

Frieda’s blue eyes looked pained, “ I guess you know.” She said. Doggett studied the older woman. Frieda was a mess.

“ Oh I know. And she told me what you did to her afterwards,” Doggett said, “ If I see you go anywhere near Zoe-“

Frieda wasn’t about to back down. “ She’s still my wife,” Frieda snapped back angrily,” No one will be keeping me from her and I’ll put down anyone who will get in my way,” she gave Doggett a cold, threatening look before heading towards her cell.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: please let me know if this series plus the prequel Meant To Be is actually being read and is worth continuing by dropping me a line in the comments section. If not I’ll discontinue. 
> 
> Thanks!

Notes chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

Frieda Berlin glanced down at the woman who was lying beneath her. Zoe McKenzie-the most wonderful woman she’d ever known actually took her back. She still couldn’t believe it. Zoe smiled up at her, her brown eyes full of love.

It’s been five months since they had last made love and after five months of separation, things had heated up between them pretty quickly but Frieda found herself hesitating as she slid a hand between Zoe’s thighs. Frieda captured Zoe McKenzie’s lips with her own as Zoe stroked Frieda’s breasts. Zoe held Frieda closer to her but Frieda took her hand away.

“ I’m sorry,” Frieda whispered, “ I just can’t do it. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“ You won’t hurt me,” Zoe whispered back, “ I’m ready this time, can’t you feel that I’m ready?” she took Frieda’s hand and guided it back between her legs, “ See? I’m definitely ready for you this time.” She tried to kiss Frieda, but Frieda pulled away, an anguished expression on her face.

“ You might be ready…but I’m not. I’m sorry.” Frieda said again, “ I thought I was ready but-“

“ You don’t have to explain,” Zoe assured her as she pulled her in for a tight hug “ It might take a while for things to get back to normal for us.” Her relationship with Frieda had always been very sexual-it was just the way things were between them, but ever since that terrible day things were different now. 

 _Will things ever be the same between us again?_ Frieda thought to herself as she sobbed in Zoe’s arms. _Will I ever forgive myself for raping my wife five months ago?_

* * *

Later that evening, it was close to lights out. Frieda sat on her bed and watched as Zoe changed into her nightgown. “ You’ll never guess what Gloria told me today during rec time,” Zoe said to Frieda as they curled up together on Frieda’s bed. Frieda put an arm around Zoe’s waist and propped herself up on her elbow.

“ What?” Frieda replied and Zoe hesitated, Frieda had been quiet since their failed attempt of making love earlier that day. Frieda was probably embarrassed as she hated to cry in front of her-she hated to cry full stop.

“ Red is out of the SHU,” Zoe said finally, “ And according to Nicky, she’s not doing too well.”

Frieda nodded and her mind went back to that day when Red tried to strangle her-that was how Red got herself thrown into the SHU in the first place.

Zoe chatted about other things that went on during rec time but Frieda barely said a word. Zoe sighed and gave up.   “ I think I’ll turn in,” Zoe told her.

Frieda tightened her arm around Zoe, “ Can’t we just be together?” Frieda asked softly and Zoe gazed up at her. Frieda’s mouth came down onto hers as they kissed. The kissed turned passionate and it wasn’t long before their clothes were discarded and Zoe found herself lying underneath Frieda, with her legs around Frieda’s waist.

“ Are you sure?” Zoe asked her but Frieda kissed her in reply and they made love. This time, Frieda didn’t pull away and after a while, they curled up in each other’s arms.

“ I’ve missed this, “ Frieda admitted as she kissed Zoe’s shoulder then her lips travelled down the length of her neck and captured Zoe’s nipple with her lips.

“ So did I, “ Zoe replied and moaned as Frieda’s hand made its way between her thighs and started stroking her. It wasn’t long before Frieda found herself lying underneath Zoe as she made love to her.

“ Oh Sweet Jesus,” Frieda moaned as she came twice. They spent most of the night making love and Frieda felt as if everything was back to normal with them.

And that’s how it was going to stay.


	9. Chapter 9

 Zoe returned from her counselling appointment and joined Doggett and Suzanne at their table.

“ There’s something we gotta warn you about,” Suzanne greeted Zoe as Zoe opened a pudding cup.

“ What? What’s wrong?” she asked and Suzanne pointed. Zoe glanced over her shoulder to see Frieda heading their way.

“ When did she get back?” Zoe asked in a tight voice.

“ Just now.” Doggett replied as Zoe stood up.

“ Hi Zoe,” Frieda greeted her wife and Zoe slowly turned.

“ Is there something you wanted?” Zoe asked coldly as the memories of Frieda admitting she had cheated on her and then the rape came rushing back.

“ I want to talk to you,” Frieda pleaded as Zoe glanced at Frieda’s heavily bandaged wrists. Frieda looked terrible, her face was grey, there were dark circles under her eyes and her hair messy and unwashed.

Frieda studied her wife. Zoe didn’t look terrible. In fact, Zoe had never looked more beautiful. Frieda wanted Zoe more than ever.

She leaned forward and whispered, “ You’re beautiful. Your hair looks so soft-I miss holding and touching you. I miss being with you.”

Zoe glared at her, “ Have you forgotten what you did to me? It’s been a month but I still wake up from nightmares of that terrible day.”

“ I haven’t forgotten,” Frieda replied, “ Please Zoe-let me make it up to you.”

“ Stay the hell away from me,” Zoe snapped and headed towards her cell. She knew as long as stayed in her cell, Frieda wouldn’t be allowed to follow her inside.  

Doggett joined her a few minutes later and found Zoe staring at herself in their small mirror.

“ You okay?” Doggett asked.

“ Yeah, I’m fine.” Zoe lifted a strand of long brown hair and made a face, “ I’ve had the same hairstyle for over thirty years.” _And Frieda’s always loved my hair_. Zoe added to herself, thinking of the numerous times Frieda would bury her hands in Zoe’s hair when they were in one of their passionate clinches.

“ They’ve got a hairdresser in B block,” Doggett told her helpfully.

“ I know…maybe it’s time for a change,”

* * *

An hour later, Zoe returned to the common area and Suzanne’s eyes widened.  Zoe’s long hair was gone, it now fell to her shoulders in pretty waves.  “ Zoe, your hair!” she exclaimed.

Zoe ran a hand through her new hairstyle, “ Do you like it?” she asked nervously.

“ It looks great!” Suzanne assured her, “ It makes you look younger…I mean, not that you were looking old before, but-“

“ I know what you mean. And thanks.” Zoe smiled at her.

Later that day, Frieda caught sight of Zoe and her new haircut. “ Did she get a new haircut?” Frieda asked Suzanne.

Suzanne nodded, “ Doesn’t she look great?” Suzanne replied but Frieda didn’t reply.

Zoe looked fantastic. The new haircut made her look younger and softer and even more beautiful. Frieda knew Zoe chopped off her hair to spite Frieda-most likely to make her look less desirable to Frieda because Frieda had always loved her hair.

But it had the opposite effect, Frieda just wanted her even more.

* * *

 

**THREE MONTHS LATER**

Frieda’s plan to reunite with Zoe hadn’t gotten anywhere fast. Zoe avoided Frieda like the plague and spent most of her time with Tiffany Doggett. The two shared a deep bond and were inseparable. Doggett was barely speaking to Frieda these days. The only real friend Frieda had was Suzanne.

Frieda glanced down at the scars on her wrists. The bandages had been taken off ages ago and she still had nightmares of that awful day and still had suicidal thoughts. She had woken up that morning realising that today’s date had a special meaning for her.

“ Frieda, are you okay?” Suzanne asked glancing over at her cellmate. Frieda was quiet that morning.

“ What date is today?” Frieda asked her.

“ December 18th,” Suzanne told her, “ Nearly Christmas. Why?”

 Frieda sighed, “ Today would have been my anniversary with Zoe. We would have been together ten years.”

Suzanne sat down next to her friend, “ Oh…I’m sorry.”

“ It was the day she and I realised we had fallen in love,” Frieda went on looking miserable, “ I wonder if she realises what day it is. She probably doesn’t care.”

“ I’m sure she does, “ Suzanne protested.

“ She doesn’t. We didn’t even make it to ten years,” Frieda said.

Later that afternoon, Suzanne returned to her cell from pill line and froze in her tracks when she saw Frieda. Frieda was standing in the middle of their cell, holding a blade to her neck.

 “ Frieda, what are you doing?” Suzanne exclaimed.

“ Don’t come any closer,” Frieda warned.

“ Frieda, please-“

“ I love her Suzanne. She was my whole world and that world is gone. She won’t talk to me. She won’t even look at me,” tears streamed down Frieda’s face.

“ Frieda, put down the shiv,” Suzanne pleaded. Meanwhile, Doggett and Zoe looked up to see a commotion coming from Suzanne and Frieda’s cell. Doggett hurried towards the cell and Zoe followed.

“ Suzanne, what’s wrong?” Doggett called to Suzanne.

“ Frieda’s trying to kill herself again,” Suzanne said tearfully. Doggett walked into the cell to see Frieda pressing a blade against her neck.

“ Don’t come any closer,” Frieda warned them again. Doggett turned to Zoe who was nearing the cell.

“ Frieda’s trying to kill herself again,” Doggett told Zoe worriedly and Zoe headed for Suzanne and Frieda’s cell.

“ Frieda, what are you doing?” Zoe demanded her wife.

“ Zoe I love you,” Frieda replied, “ Please, I’m sorry-I just want to make it up to you but you won’t let me.”

Zoe glanced over her shoulder to see Doggett pulling Suzanne out of the cell. “ Frieda, don’t do this to yourself,” Zoe replied, “ I don’t want to see you hurting yourself again.”

“ I don’t care,” Frieda replied, “ I just want things to be the way they were before. I love you.”

A wave of sympathy washed over Zoe as she walked closer. She reached out and took the shiv from Frieda’s hand and threw it onto the bed.

“ I love you too,” Zoe whispered into her ear.

Frieda gave her a hopeful look, “ You do?” she asked and Zoe nodded.

“ It might be awhile before things are back to normal between us, but I want to give us another chance. To give you another chance.” Zoe said. Frieda opened her arms and Zoe fell into them for a long hug before Frieda’s lips came down onto Zoe’s and they kissed hungrily.

As they kissed, Zoe worried she might have made a big mistake.


	10. Chapter 10

Frieda Berlin glanced down at the woman who was lying beneath her. Zoe McKenzie-the most wonderful woman she’d ever known actually took her back. She still couldn’t believe it. Zoe smiled up at her, her brown eyes full of love.

It’s been five months since they had last made love and after five months of separation, things had heated up between them pretty quickly but Frieda found herself hesitating as she slid a hand between Zoe’s thighs. Frieda captured Zoe McKenzie’s lips with her own as Zoe stroked Frieda’s breasts. Zoe held Frieda closer to her but Frieda took her hand away.

“ I’m sorry,” Frieda whispered, “ I just can’t do it. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“ You won’t hurt me,” Zoe whispered back, “ I’m ready this time, can’t you feel that I’m ready?” she took Frieda’s hand and guided it back between her legs, “ See? I’m definitely ready for you this time.” She tried to kiss Frieda, but Frieda pulled away, an anguished expression on her face.

“ You might be ready…but I’m not. I’m sorry.” Frieda said again, “ I thought I was ready but-“

“ You don’t have to explain,” Zoe assured her as she pulled her in for a tight hug “ It might take a while for things to get back to normal for us.” Her relationship with Frieda had always been very sexual-it was just the way things were between them, but ever since that terrible day things were different now. 

 _Will things ever be the same between us again?_ Frieda thought to herself as she sobbed in Zoe’s arms. _Will I ever forgive myself for raping my wife five months ago?_

* * *

Later that evening, it was close to lights out. Frieda sat on her bed and watched as Zoe changed into her nightgown. “ You’ll never guess what Gloria told me today during rec time,” Zoe said to Frieda as they curled up together on Frieda’s bed. Frieda put an arm around Zoe’s waist and propped herself up on her elbow.

“ What?” Frieda replied and Zoe hesitated, Frieda had been quiet since their failed attempt of making love earlier that day. Frieda was probably embarrassed as she hated to cry in front of her-she hated to cry full stop.

“ Red is out of the SHU,” Zoe said finally, “ And according to Nicky, she’s not doing too well.”

Frieda nodded and her mind went back to that day when Red tried to strangle her-that was how Red got herself thrown into the SHU in the first place.

Zoe chatted about other things that went on during rec time but Frieda barely said a word. Zoe sighed and gave up.   “ I think I’ll turn in,” Zoe told her.

Frieda tightened her arm around Zoe, “ Can’t we just be together?” Frieda asked softly and Zoe gazed up at her. Frieda’s mouth came down onto hers as they kissed. The kissed turned passionate and it wasn’t long before their clothes were discarded and Zoe found herself lying underneath Frieda, with her legs around Frieda’s waist.

“ Are you sure?” Zoe asked her but Frieda kissed her in reply and they made love. This time, Frieda didn’t pull away and after a while, they curled up in each other’s arms.

“ I’ve missed this, “ Frieda admitted as she kissed Zoe’s shoulder then her lips travelled down the length of her neck and captured Zoe’s nipple with her lips.

“ So did I, “ Zoe replied and moaned as Frieda’s hand made its way between her thighs and started stroking her. It wasn’t long before Frieda found herself lying underneath Zoe as she made love to her.

“ Oh Sweet Jesus,” Frieda moaned as she came twice. They spent most of the night making love and Frieda felt as if everything was back to normal with them.

And that’s how it was going to stay.

 


	11. Chapter 11

It was several weeks after they had gotten back together and Frieda and Zoe were closer than ever.  They spent every minute of the day together except for rec time, which Zoe went to on her own. Frieda was still afraid Red would show up to it.

After making love for most of the morning in their hidden nook, Frieda and Zoe went back to their cell when CO Copeland stuck her head in, “ There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you McKenzie.”

“ What is it?” Zoe asked, brushing her hair. She was getting used to her short hair. It was much more manageable.

“ You’ve got an appointment,” Copeland answered. Zoe exchanged a look with Frieda before following Copeland out.

Copeland lead Zoe to an office and showed her inside. Sitting at a desk was Natalia Figueroa, assistant warden. Zoe had known Natalie for years. She’d been around since her first stint in Max.

“ Natalie-I mean, Ms. Figueroa,” Zoe corrected herself as she sat down.

“ I think we’ve known each other long enough to go by first names.” Fig replied.

“ Why am I here?” Zoe asked as her heart started pounding. Maybe they finally figured out it was she who had killed the Dennings.

“ Let’s talk about your release,” Fig answered, tapping her long fingernails on a file, which Zoe assumed was hers.

“ M-my release?” Zoe swallowed nervously.

“ Your original sentence was ten years. You got extra time for the riots which you have served.  You’re done here Zoe, it’s time for you to go.”

“ I’m getting released?” Zoe whispered.

“ Of course. Surely you haven’t forgotten that your time here is up.”

“ No. I haven’t,” Zoe had known deep down this time was coming, “ I just thought I’d have more time.”

“ More time? You want more time?” Fig looked shocked, “ Why on earth would you want more time?”

“ No, I mean with Frieda. We’ve just reconciled and things are going great and now-“

“ I see,” Fig sighed, she knew all about Zoe’s old lady-her wife, Frieda Berlin. The two of them had such a colourful history together.

“ Well, there’s always phone calls, letters and conjugal visits,” Fig reminded Zoe.

“ I know, but it won’t be the same,”

* * *

 

 Frieda stared at Zoe after she had told Frieda her news. “ But…I just got you back,” Frieda said, squeezing Zoe’s hands.

“ I know.”

“ I knew things were too good to be true. Things have been going well and this happens,” Frieda frowned, “ Go figure.”

“ Aren’t you happy for me?”

“ Of course I’m happy for you. You deserve this, it’s just that…well, I’m going to miss you.” Frieda paused, “ You will go this time though? You won’t come up with  some hare-brained scheme to get your release revoked like last time?”

“ I’ve learned my lesson,” Zoe told her.

“ And you’re leaving tomorrow-that doesn’t give us much time,” Frieda sighed.

“ No it doesn’t. We should make every minute count.” Zoe stood up and pulled Frieda to her feet.

* * *

Frieda and Zoe had spent every minute together, making love in their hidden nook, only coming up for air for dinner. Zoe had told Suzanne and Pennsatucky that she was leaving. Both were sad but also happy for her and Suzanne asked if she could have her bathroom caddy.

“ Sorry, but I’m leaving everything I own to my next of kin,” Zoe replied smiling at Frieda.

They spent most of the night making love and only stopped when Zoe fell asleep in Frieda’s arms. The following morning, Frieda woke Zoe and the two of them got dressed.

Frieda pulled Zoe into her arms, “ You’re leaving today,” Frieda said sadly and bought her mouth down onto Zoe’s a for a long, fiery kiss, burying her hands in Zoe’s hair.  The door to their cell opened suddenly.

“ Time to go McKenzie!” came Copeland’s voice, “ Say your goodbyes ladies. She leaves now.”

The two women hugged and Frieda pulled away, “ Is someone coming to pick you up?” she asked Zoe.

“ Sophia is. I’m staying with her til I get things sorted. “ Zoe replied. She had called Sophia after her appointment with Fig yesterday and Sophia was happy to pick her up.

Frieda nodded, remembering the arrangement Sophia had made with Zoe a year ago.

Frieda and Zoe slowly made their way to the common area where a line of Florida inmates were waiting to be taken outside. Zoe squeezed Frieda’s hand wordlessly and glanced over at Pennsatucky and Suzanne who were watching nearby. She gave them a wave and they both waved back.

They hugged once more and Frieda put her hand on the back of Zoe’s neck and kissed her goodbye, “ I’ll see you soon,” she whispered and Zoe nodded. She joined the other woman in the line.

As the line moved, Zoe ran back towards to Frieda who opened her arms. Zoe ran into her arms and they kissed again, “ I don’t want to go,” Zoe whispered as tears ran down her face, “ How am I supposed to live without you?”

“ You’ll be fine.” Frieda whispered back and gave Zoe a gentle shove, “ Get back in line, Copeland looks like she’s going to blow a fuse.”

Pennsatucky and Suzanne joined Frieda as they watched the line move forward. “ Is she gonna be okay?” Suzanne asked Frieda.

“ Sure. She’s tough.” Frieda replied.

 “ Just like you,” Suzanne added, turning to Frieda and Frieda smiled.

“ Just like me,” Frieda agreed and watched as Zoe walked through the door and was gone.

“ She’s really gone,” Pennsatucky said, “ Man, I’m gonna miss her.”

“ Me too, “ Suzanne replied and glanced over at Frieda and noticed Frieda had disappeared. Poor Frieda, she thought, this is going to be hard on her.

* * *

Zoe hugged Sophia, “ It’s so good to see you! “ Sophia exclaimed, “ Let’s get going before you change your mind again.”

Zoe nodded and glanced over at the prison, her heart aching. She hadn’t even left yet and already she missed Frieda.

Her life was never going to be the same again.


	12. Chapter 12

Frieda found that nights were the hardest. She had gotten so used in sleeping with her wife, she found it hard to sleep without her. It had been two days and so far she hadn't gotten a new roommate.

Frieda lay on her back. She was so tired, she couldn't sleep. She thought of the last day she spent with Zoe, they had spent most of it talking and making love. If she were here right now, they'd be making love.

 _You're alone in the cell_ , Frieda reminded herself, she slid a hand down her pants as images of Zoe making love to her flashed in her mind,  _if Zoe can't be here, then you have to take matters into your own hands. So to speak_.

* * *

" I hope you don't mind, but I think I'll turn in," Zoe said to Sophia and her wife Crystal. She'd been staying with them for two days and she liked Sophia's family. Michael had a bit of an attitude problem, but he was a teenager. And according to Crystal, he was going through a phase.

" What time is your appointment with the real estate agent tomorrow?" Sophia asked her.

" Ten thirty in the morning, " Zoe replied as she helped clear the table.

" I'll drive you, I wouldn't mind seeing the house myself," Sophia said as Crystal loaded the dishes into the dishwasher.

" Don't be silly, you've done too much for me already," Zoe protested, " I already feel like I've overstayed my welcome…"

" It's no trouble. I've got the day off. One of the perks of being the boss of a hair salon," Sophia winked at her, " See you in the morning." She watched her friend disappear down the hallway.

" I really like her," Crystal informed her," Now I know why you like her so much. But she's a bit on the quiet side."

" She's pretty great," Sophia agreed, " But she's always been reserved. It's just the way she is. Plus she's missing Frieda a bit I think."

" It must be tough for her to be separated from her wife," Crystal mused, finishing her glass of wine, " How long were they together for?"

" Ten years. They adored each other. She's going to visit Frieda in a few days."

* * *

Visiting day couldn't come soon enough. Zoe would be visiting in two hours and Frieda couldn't wait. She sat on her bed, doing a puzzle book that Zoe had left behind and looked around her cell. The past few days she'd been collecting bits and pieces that might become useful later on. It didn't take long for the bits and pieces to pile up all over the place and was running out of room.

It was lunchtime so she went out in the common area to grab a tray. She bent down to grab one and straightened up when her tray knocked a tray out of another inmate's hands.

Frieda gasped as she found herself staring right in the face of someone she'd never thought she'd see again.

Red Reznikov.

" Oh lord," Frieda said, " I-I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you-honest. I was looking out for myself and-"

" It's okay," Red interrupted, " There's no harm done. We all get a little clumsy in our old age." Then what she did next astonished Frieda. She stuck out her hand, " Galina Reznikov. And you are?"

Frieda stared at her. There was something terribly wrong here. Red didn't even recognise her. Maybe rotting away down in the SHU for so long did something with her mind and she had some kind of amnesia.

But how on earth did Red get into Florida?

" I'm Berlin. Frieda Berlin," she said after they shook hands. Then she handed Red her tray, " Here. Take mine. I'll get another one."

" Then come sit with me and we'll get to know each other," Red invited. They sat down and Red turned to Frieda.

" Did you want to hear a joke?" she asked her. And during lunch it was becoming clear to Frieda that Red had dementia. Or was going through the early stages of it and just didn't recognise Frieda.

This was good news. Now Red won't try and kill her again and Red also didn't remember her ex-girlfriend Zoe so that was more good news. Frieda was careful not to bring up Zoe, afraid it will trigger Red's memory.

But despite all this, Frieda felt sad for her old friend.


	13. Chapter 13

After lunch, Frieda linked arms with Red and lead her back to her cell. So far Red hadn’t recognised her and they had a good conversation over lunch. It was like renewing her friendship with Red, Frieda thought happily. “ Come see my room,” Frieda said to Red, and they stopped in the doorway. Red peered inside.

“ Frieda Berlin!” she exclaimed shocked, “ How can you live like this? This is squalor,” she entered the cell.

“ I like it, it keeps people away,” Frieda said and she turned to close the door.

“ I don’t think you should close the door, we need the air circulation,” Red said and Frieda left it open slightly ajar.

“ Can I trust you with a secret?” Frieda asked Red.

“ I can’t remember a fucking thing these days, so I think you’re good.” Red replied.

Frieda lifted up a poster she had tacked on the wall to reveal what looked like the beginnings of a tunnel. Red stared at it for a few seconds before she started to laugh.

“ You can’t be serious!” she laughed and Frieda also chuckled.

“ What else I got to do? It keeps me amused-especially since my wife is now gone,” Frieda replied sitting down at her desk. She winced. She hadn’t meant to bring up Zoe, it just slipped out.

 _Oh well, Red’s going to find out sooner or later_ , Frieda thought.

“ You had a wife?” Red said surprised, “ Has she passed?”

“ Passed? Oh no, she was released a few days ago,” Frieda told her, “ She’s coming for a visit today-in one hour.”

Red sat down on Frieda’s bed, “ Why haven’t you mentioned her?” she asked Frieda.

Frieda shrugged, “ She never came up.” And that’s when Red noticed the photo of a young woman with long brown hair and brown eyes that had a mischievous sparkle to them that was tacked to Frieda’s wall. The young woman wore a khaki uniform and it looked like the photo had been taken in a field.

“ Who’s this?” Red asked pointing.

Frieda smiled and reached over to hand the photo to Red, “ This is my wife,” she told her proudly.

“ How long have the two of you been together?” Red asked.  

“ Ten years. We celebrated our ten year anniversary not long before she was released.”

“ She’s very pretty,” Red remarked then raised her eyebrows, “ But also very young. Frieda Berlin!”

“ I didn’t know her when that photo was taken,” Frieda protested, “ That photo was taken during her first stint in max, I was already in minimum security by then. We met a few years later.” She then told Red the story of how she and Zoe met and fell in love, being very careful not to mention the fact that Red had been with Zoe for two years after Frieda had broken up with Zoe. “ She was in her mid-forties in that photo and she’s now 54.”

“ She’s still a lot younger though. You’re lucky to have such a pretty, young wife,” Red said and handed her back the photo.

“ She’s not just pretty-she’s gorgeous,” Frieda replied and at that moment, CO Copeland appeared in the doorway.

“ Visitation time. C’mon Berlin. You can’t keep your wife waiting.”

Red smiled as Frieda’s whole face lit up. “ I’ll see you later Red,” Frieda said and followed Copeland out.

* * *

Frieda sat down and they both reached for the phones. Frieda stared at her wife,  trying to memorise every detail. Zoe was beautiful, her shoulder-length hair sleek and shiny, her brown eyes were sparkling. She was still a bit pale, but she’d only been out of prison a few days. She wore a lilac-coloured angora sweater with a pair of blue jeans.

“ Hi, “ Frieda greeted her cheerfully, “ You look great.” And that’s when she saw the gold wedding ring on Zoe’s finger, “ You’re wearing the wedding ring,” she said delighted.

“ Of course. Now that I’m out, I can wear it.” Zoe held up her hand and Frieda smiled.

“ It looks good.” Frieda remarked. Jewellery was contraband in prison so Frieda and Zoe hadn’t been allowed to wear their wedding rings. Frieda still kept hers hidden but was happy at least one of them was allowed to wear hers.

“ I still remember the day when you gave me the ring,” Zoe told her and Frieda chuckled, also remembering.

* * *

**A Year Ago**

**Litchfield Correctional Institution**

It was the day after their wedding ceremony and Frieda woke up blearily the following morning. She and Zoe had spent all night making love and it felt like Frieda had only just gotten to sleep. She took something from underneath her pillow as  she rubbed her eyes and stood up.  Frieda pulled her new wife in a for a hug, “ Morning,” she said and kissed her tenderly, keeping one hand behind her back.

“ I finally found what I was looking for yesterday,” Frieda told Zoe and produced the wedding rings. Two simple gold rings.

Zoe’s eyes went wide, “ Where on earth did you find those?” she asked.

“ I’ve always had them.” Frieda paused, “ These were my mother’s rings. My daddy gave them to me when I turned thirteen. I kept them hidden when I was first sent to max.  Then when I was transferred to camp, I hid them in my bunker. No one ever found them.”

“ You’re giving one of them to me?” Zoe whispered as Frieda took her hand and gently slid the ring onto her finger. It was a perfect fit. That was when Frieda knew, they were fated to be together.

“ I never knew my mother,” Frieda answered as she gave Zoe the second wedding ring. Zoe slid the wedding ring on Frieda’s own finger, “ She died when I was only a year old. But I’d like to think she would have liked you.” She held up her hand to admire the ring. It was a bit small but she dind’t care. “ Of course we won’t be able to wear these in public…”

“ I’ll always wear it when we’re alone. But we’ll keep them down here so that no one will find them.” Zoe promised. Frieda opened her arms and Zoe fell into them for a long embrace. They clung to each other as Frieda’s lips sought Zoe’s for a tender kiss. The kiss soon became passionate and it wasn’t long before they ended up on Frieda’s mattress in each other’s arms.

* * *

**Present Day**

Frieda and Zoe chatted for a while before Frieda decided to tell her the news about Red. “ You’ll never guess who’s in Florida,” Frieda said.

“ Who?”

“ Red.”

Zoe stared at her, “ How on earth did she get into Florida? And are you okay? She didn’t try and kill you again did she?”

“ She doesn’t know who I am,” Frieda replied and told her what happened.” So for now she doesn’t know me and she doesn’t even remember you.”

“ She doesn’t?”

“ No. Not even when I told her the story of how we met and everything, and showed her your photograph, she didn’t recognise you.”

“ Oh,” Zoe felt a tiny bit hurt at that. “ But I spent two years with her,” she reminded Frieda, “ How could she not know who I am?”

Frieda shrugged, “ I don’t know how dementia works. But its good news-it means I can renew my friendship with Red. Start fresh.” Then she narrowed her eyes, “ Why is it important for Red to remember who you are?”

“ No reason,” Zoe said quickly, “ So who’s your roommate? Have you gotten anyone new?” she asked, swiftly changing the subject.

* * *

Frieda arrived back to Florida, smiling. The visit with Zoe had been great, it was wonderful to see her wife again, but she wanted a conjugal visit. It had been too long since they were actually together. Actually only a few days but it felt like it was forever to Frieda. Zoe had assured her she was filling in the necessary paperwork. She had to apply for a conjugal visit.

As she walked back to her cell, she felt someone watching her. Then all of a sudden she heard an angry voice behind her.

“ I remember! I remember!” someone was yelling and she glanced over her shoulder to see Red running towards her, yelling at her in Russian.

 _Oh Fuck!_ Frieda thought and ran for her cell. She made it to her cell and closed the door just in time. Red screamed furiously at her in Russian as one of the CO’s held the door shut.

“ No thanks, I think I’ll ride it out til you lose your mind again. And then maybe we can play a few hands of gin,” Frieda said over Red’s yelling. The CO’s lead Red away and Frieda sighed, rubbing her forehead. She was starting to get a headache. She had been fooling herself thinking renewing her friendship with Red was going to be easy. She was going to be on edge all the time now, wondering when Red was going to remember that Frieda had betrayed her.


End file.
